Dodging Dolce Gusto: In Search of the Elusive EU D&G Hat (and Maybe Some Coffee)
Right, so, I was trying to find, like, the ultimate summer hat. You know, something chic but also kinda shields you from the sun because SPF 5000 sunscreen is a pain. Anyway, I stumbled down this rabbit hole of internet searches, and somehow, I’m now knee-deep in Nescafé Dolce Gusto promotions and… zero waste initiatives in São Paulo? What even IS this algorithm??
Apparently, FARFETCH is having some kinda “Dolce Lovers” promo where you can trade… stuff for Dolce Gusto products? Is that even relevant? I mean, maybe if you’re REALLY into your pod coffee, you’d trade a perfectly good, slightly-used EU Stock Dolce & Gabbana hat. But, like, *why*?
See, that’s the thing, the image I’m *actually* hunting for is a Dolce & Gabbana hat – specifically, one that’s supposedly in stock somewhere in the EU. You know, one of those ridiculously overpriced but oh-so-fabulous ones. Preferably something loud and floral, because subtlety is for the birds.
And then BAM! Nescafé Dolce Gusto is back. They’re trying to sell me accessories for my (non-existent) coffee machine. Look, I appreciate the thought, but I’m on a mission here! I need a hat! Not a frother! Though, okay, a really good frother *would* be kinda nice. Maybe after I find the hat.
Speaking of which, why am I seeing Dolce & Gabbana locations intermixed with info about Nescafé Dolce Gusto machines heating water? Seriously, Google, are you okay? Are you having a mid-life crisis? Should I send help?
Honestly, at this point, I’m starting to think the EU Stock Dolce & Gabbana hat is a myth. A beautiful, stylish myth, but a myth nonetheless. Maybe I should just give up and buy a plain old baseball cap. Or, you know, succumb to the allure of the Dolce Gusto subscription and just stay inside forever, caffeinated and hatless.
But no! I refuse! There *has* to be an EU Stock D&G hat out there, waiting to be discovered. And I, armed with my increasingly confused search history and a growing craving for espresso, will find it. Wish me luck (and maybe send coffee. Seriously). Also, if anyone knows a good place to recycle coffee pods in Brazil, let me know. Just putting that out there.
