First off, FARFETCH is throwing around 100,000+ styles. A hundred THOUSAND. Seriously? That’s… a lot. Like, I can barely choose what to eat for breakfast, let alone pick a designer bag out of *that* many. They’re even flexing with express delivery and free returns, which, okay, points for convenience I guess, but still, overwhelmed much? And they’re name-dropping Hermès Birkin and Gucci GG like it’s NBD. Casual.
Then you got these “designer bag springboards.” What even *is* a designer bag springboard? Is it, like, you launch yourself into a pile of expensive leather goods? I’m picturing a very glamorous, very expensive, slightly painful belly flop. Anyway, Saint Laurent’s apparently in the mix, slinging a Small Manhattan Shoulder Bag for a cool $3,100. I could pay my rent with that. Just sayin’. And used Birkins from *1999*? Vintage cool, or just, like, dusty? 🤔
And COACH is yelling about “ALL OVER” something with flowers? Maybe they’re feeling springy? Look, I love a good deal, don’t get me wrong, but the random flower emojis are kinda throwing me off. It’s like they’re trying too hard.
Speaking of deals, this flashcard thing is talking about designer bag outlets with up to 60% off. Now *that’s* talking my language! I mean, who doesn’t love a discount on something ridiculously overpriced? It’s the thrill of the bargain, even if it’s still, like, a grand. Ya know?
Kate Spade’s also in the game, promising unique styles and 10% off if you sign up for their email/SMS spam fest. Honestly, do I *need* another email telling me about a sale? Probably not. But that 10%… tempting. They act like their handbags are unique like who are they kidding? All designer bags look the same.
The best part? They’re all about telling “your unique story!” with a purse. My unique story involves spilled coffee, melted chocolate, and a desperate search for my keys. I’m not sure a $3,000 bag can truly capture that.
